Thank you for trusting me enough to make it to the end of this book. I am so honored that I was able to share my journey of healing with you. After discovering that my inner child was wounded and experiencing the relief that came with healing them, I knew that I needed to help others navigate this trauma. This book is the labor of love, born from my own pain and experience. I felt that it was my mission to provide insight and the necessary tools to help people find inner child healing, especially in their darkest moments.
You reach a point in your life where you have to make a choice; you can either carry along down the slippery slope you’re on, or you can choose to heal. I remember what it was like to suffer from emotional pain, stress, anxiety, and self-sabotaging tendencies and not even realize that it was my inner child trying to call out to me. The negative patterns in my life resulted from my wounded inner child. My hope is that after finishing this book, you are aware of the power of inner child healing and are equipped with the necessary tools and healing methods to heal your own wounded inner child.
I hope that once you’ve worked through the techniques in this book, you will have a deeper understanding of the trauma you experienced as a child and how it’s affecting you as an adult. You may feel like you’re stuck in a toxic rut, but the methods in this book are there to guide you through the healing journey. It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. The freedom that comes with healing the wounded child within is like no other.
Keep this book close for when you are feeling lost, alone, and in need of a guiding light. This book is something to lean on, a beacon of hope for when you feel like the waves are getting too rough. Remember the words of advice I’ve written from the depths of my heart and follow them to the best of your ability. I believe in you, and I know you will make it through and come out a completely new person in the end. You may have a more grown-up body and more life experience, but you are every bit as precious. Love yourself as if you were the most precious thing in the world – because you are!
Here is a quick recap of the main topics we covered throughout this book to remind you how much you have learned since we started this journey together.
Although your inner child is not physical or tangible, it is part of your deep subconscious. It has been with you since the day you were born, always absorbing everything around you, including trauma you may have experienced in your childhood. As an adult, you are probably trying to run away from your inner child, or at least the pain inside. You don’t want to face those feelings again, and as a result, you end up suppressing your inner child, which ends up wreaking havoc in your adult life. Being detached from your inner child is a lot more common than people realize, and having a wounded inner child is something many adults struggle with. In order to truly heal, you have to acknowledge, embrace and nurture the child within, making them feel safe and protected again. You have to face the trauma or painful experiences from your childhood so that you can set yourself free once and for all.
Childhood trauma leads to adults living in survival mode, too afraid to plant roots, plan for the future, trust others, and let joy in. Trauma causes more than just an emotional response; it affects the brain on a cellular level, which continues to impact your life today. Stress is a common part of life, but experiencing toxic stress as a child leads to damaging long-term effects. Trauma and stress affect the parts of the brain linked with memory, emotions, sensory processing, memory, and learning. Trauma can lead to difficulties regulating emotions, chronic stress, difficulty concentrating and learning, and feeling permanently anxious, fearful, and irritated. Childhood trauma can result in many psychological issues, and some adults even suffer from PTSD. Adults who suffer from childhood trauma and toxic stress experience significant consequences on an emotional, physical and mental level. Fortunately, you can heal yourself.
However, healing begins with deciding that you want to heal. You are the only one who can heal yourself, and you must make the conscious decision to do exactly that. Healing is hard work, but it’s necessary work. When you embark on this journey to heal your inner child, you need to treat yourself like you would treat someone you held dearly to your heart. You need to have compassion and understanding and approach your healing from a place of zero judgment. It is important to cultivate a healing mindset that will carry you through this journey. Your brain has the ability to change with repetition, which is known as neuroplasticity. Repetitive behaviors grow and alter your brain matter, regardless of how old you are. This also refers to positive thinking and a healing mindset. The more consistent your positive thoughts are, the more the brain neurons change their chemical signals, which adapt the functioning and structure of the brain associated with positive behavioral changes and healing.
Your subconscious mind remembers everything, even if you don’t, and as you grow up, your inner child doesn’t just disappear. When you are triggered by seemingly insignificant situations and don’t understand why, it’s because the inner child inside of you is still there and screaming for attention. Your inner child is wounded and needs to be healed, not suppressed and ignored. Inner child healing is a way for you to acknowledge and embrace your inner child as a separate person. It is a way for you to make it known that your intention is to heal their wounds. Inner child healing is so important because, on a psychological level, a wounded inner child could be the underlying cause behind low-self esteem, depression, anger, self-sabotage, abandonment issues, or relationship difficulties you’re facing. Healing your childhood traumas will help you live a wonderful, fulfilled life now in the present moment. Another aspect of inner child healing is the realization that your parents may not have been able to meet your needs because they didn’t even know how to meet their own. It’s okay to feel angry at the parents your inner child was raised by, but it’s also essential to remember that the wound may not have been your fault, but the healing is your responsibility.
Even if you can happily report that you enjoyed a wonderful childhood, they are likely trauma or experiences that hurt you and impact how you view the world. Fortunately, there is a way to overcome any beliefs or baggage you carry around. And one of those ways is through reparenting. Simply put, reparenting is the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child. As an adult, it’s impossible to return to your childhood, so you need to reparent as a way to give yourself what was missing from your first years of life. Reparenting is your own personal responsibility and begins with asking yourself, “What do I need? What can I do for myself today?” There are four key pillars to reparenting; emotional regulation, loving discipline, self-care, and joy. Depending on your unique childhood trauma and experiences, some of these pillars could be more challenging than others.
The next important step in your inner child healing journal is the energy of mindfulness. Mindfulness is one of the ways through to your inner child. It is the energy that helps you to be entirely present so that you can connect with your inner child on a different level. At its core, mindfulness is a practice that needs to be repeated regularly and with intention. You need to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine to cultivate a space for yourself and your inner child. The five steps for putting mindfulness into practice are starting your day with a mindful morning, eating your food mindfully, rewiring your brain by pausing, activating your mind and your muscles, and driving your car mindfully. Another way to cultivate mindfulness is through a body scan meditation.
Validating and noticing yourself as well as your inner child is essential for inner child healing. Self-validation is a skill that takes practice, and at first, it won’t be easy, especially if you never received much validation as a child. Some important lists to create during the process of validating and noticing yourself are a list of your needs, a list of things that make you feel nurtured, and a list of boundaries. Having a list of your needs will serve as a helpful reminder as well as help you reinforce the boundaries needed to protect your inner child. The second list is one of comforting phrases that you can repeat to yourself when you are feeling triggered. The final list is one of healthy boundaries that you need for a happy life. Boundaries result from understanding your needs and using your voice to bring them to light.
Beyond noticing and validating yourself, you also need to focus on self-love and self-care. While you’re on the journey to healing your inner child, you still need to nurture and look after your current adult self. Self-care is being conscious of your own needs, physically, emotionally, and mentally and ensuring that they are met. Self-love is accepting yourself completely, treating yourself with kindness and respect, and nurturing your growth and wellbeing. Affirmations are a great way to reiterate self-care and self-love and rewire your brain positively. Affirmations are carefully constructed to have the most impact and can help you challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. Gratitude is another key part of personal healing. An attitude of gratitude can be cultivated and used to help you appreciate things on a deeper level. It helps you relish good experiences and feel more positive emotions.
Another very useful tool for inner child healing is breathwork. Proper breathing is so important for your overall wellbeing. There are many benefits to practicing breathwork, like reducing negative emotions, boosting your immune system, increasing self-awareness and joy, increasing self-love, enhancing sleep, reducing trapped trauma, and altering your consciousness. Some simple breathwork techniques to start with include the 4-7-8 breath, the 4-4-4-4 breath, and the 5-5 breath.
Breathwork can be practiced alongside meditation, a powerful healing method for inner child healing. Meditation has been shown to thicken the pre-frontal cortex, which is the brain center that manages higher-order brain functions, like concentration, increased awareness, and decision making. Meditation has many benefits, including reducing stress, improving emotional wellbeing, enhancing self-awareness, reducing memory loss, increasing attention span, generating kindness, improving sleep, fighting addiction, controlling pain, and healing the inner child. Meditation can be used to connect with your inner child and release deep and painful emotional blockages.
Another very useful tool for inner child healing is the power of writing. Emotional writing about past experiences and ongoing anxiety frees up your cognitive resources, so you can better focus on healing your inner child. Journaling is a wonderful writing technique you can incorporate into your daily routine to bring about deep healing. There is no wrong or right way to journal; it is simply about finding a method that works for you. Journaling can help you recognize patterns and behaviors in your life that you want to change as an adult, but it can also help you understand where those behaviors originated from in childhood so that you can work to overcome them. Another helpful writing technique includes writing a letter to your inner child. You can address certain memories from your childhood, provide them with clarity surrounding an experience, or write about anything else you feel is needed. Emotional writing is all about creative expression, and there is no place for judgment.
Another form of creative expression is art therapy. Whether you’re “good” at art or not, this form of therapy has many benefits. Art allows you to transform the complexities of adulthood while healing your inner child. It is a way for you to connect with your inner child and express your feelings when words are not enough. Art therapy allows you to engage your mind, body, and spirit in ways that are very different from verbal therapy alone. One of the beneficial exercises of art therapy includes inner child drawings. These are a great way for you to connect with your inner child and express your feelings.
The final part of inner child healing is learning to communicate with others about what your inner child is feeling. When you speak to the people closest to you about your feelings, you want to avoid the type of language that involves blame. It is all about approaching them in the right manner, sharing your story, and allowing them the space to think about what you’ve said. Communication takes practice, but it is essential for building stronger, more supportive relationships.
Now that you know the different methods to begin connecting with and healing your inner child, I hope you are ready to start your journey to becoming a healed, authentic version of yourself, living with deep inner freedom. Please remember that you are never alone. There is always support. You just need to ask for it and allow the healing to take place. Healing takes time, and the road may be rocky, but it is definitely worth it. I wish you nothing but happiness and joy on your healing journey.
If you enjoyed this book, please feel free to leave a review on Amazon so that other people looking for ways to heal their inner child can find the book and discover inner child healing for themselves. Having a healed inner child is an amazing gift we can give ourselves and ultimately the world because that love is extended to everyone.